Lost in a daydream.

When I was young, I told my mom that my favourite colour is yellow. I believe it was because of yellow ranger.

Then, I was exposed to the other girls; those who often like pink.

Silly me told myself that I HAVE TO like pink too to fit in. So I began liking pink.

Fast forward 20 years, I still like pink. 

Most successful brainwashing I've casted upon myself. 

But recently I became obsessed with yellow (again). This made me think of the baby me; the one who was unaware of societal norms, the one who was unaffected by others' opinions (because in her world it didn't even existed), the one who was truly her.

Today when I was choosing the colour of my bag, I was torn between pink and yellow again. I wanted pink because I thought that it suited me more plus the sale staff said that it is a popular colour & there's only ONE new piece left! I wanted yellow because it is fun & I've never had anything in that shade before. And another practical reason is that I have plenty pink clothes. So pink clothes and pink bag are just... too much!!

I asked BB for advice. Reply said pink. That was after I've made my decision to buy yellow. But you know, me is fickle, extremely. I told the sale staff I want pink NOW!

Then there I am standing in front of a mirror, left hand yellow right hand pink. Turning myself side to side.

In the end, I chose sunshine over rose. Quite glad I stood by my own choice. But a small part of me is somewhat regretting that I didn't get pink.

I really hope one day I am able to be me, truly me without any fear or worries.